Working with Suzie’s spirit after she got up in the morning made a big difference. She still switched a bit between soul and spirit, but it is much easier to connect with her spirit after she gets up in the morning.
Last time I asked Giver if he knows what he does in Suzie’s daily life. He couldn’t really tell so I asked him and Suzie to explore a little more carefully in the next day to see if he recognizes anything that is his.
So today we had our next phone call. First we talked again generally, then I asked Giver if he would come to the front. First he answered very slowly but then it was a clear “yes”.
I asked him if he recognized anything in Suzie’s daily life that belongs to him. Yes, cooking. So I asked if there is anything specific about cooking, a special meal, the thoughts before the time of what he is going to cook,… (It is so helpful what I am learning from you!)
He said caring for the family, nurturing, though it felt we have not quiet found “it” yet. So I asked some more questions. Is it that the family is coming together? Sitting around the table? Then we got closer – this is actually fun !
Giver said he loves when people sit around the table. It is the only time in a day when the family comes together. Then we looked a bit closer and found out that it is not only the family but in general people sitting around a table and talking.
When Suzie looked back she immediately could recall different situations where this happened and how she enjoyed that. Often it is in connection with food or something she is preparing. Maybe the cooking is a different portion of her spirit.
She could see that this is a piece of her design and it landed deeply. It is really special to discover something of God’s design!
Then we talked about how she could unpack this a bit more. Though there I got a little bit stuck, because it feels there is more.
We said she could plan something, for example with friends, so that Giver is also nurtured and the people feel her spirit when she is gathering them around the table.
It doesn’t feel we have found everything around this, but she was very encouraged and has something she can hold on to. I shared again with her what you also mentioned, that even though the feelings are often feeling something different, but that this does not change her essence or the essence of Giver.
It was a real good time today. Towards the end a part came more to the front again, but we ended our phone call well.
This was also very special for me today to discover a design piece of somebody and what joy it brings.
You are an amazing coach! Thank you so much!
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Congratulations on your first piece of fathering. Well done.
Notice that this came on the heels of some really unfulfilling sessions. Ministering to the spirit of a wounded person will give you a real yo-yo effect in your emotions.
You have seen the power of discovering design in terms of anchoring. Notice her words. ” . . . has something she can hold on to.” Nothing has changed in her external world. And she still has parts and commotion and stuff insdie. But no one can take away from her that first recognition of a gift from God to her.
Now, you are right that there is more to be dug out, but let’s not rush off from this point. What we have is a general expression of her being able to provide a place where people can come and do community.
Let’s legitimize that a bit more. Isn’t that what God did in creating the Garden of Eden. He made a place — a comfortable, pretty place — for Adam and Eve, and all He did there was to come and hang out and talk. Sounds pretty Giver to me. Or, more to the point, she is a chip off the old block.
God drew the Giver portion of her spirit from His own nature.
In terms of the broader theme of nurture, it was on the Giver day that nurture came into the world through the birds and the fish — specifically nurturing their own. Givers are very tribal and want their tribe at the table where they can see them.
When God and two angels came to Abraham (the Giver) his first instinct was to feed them and make them comfortable.
When Jesus met Zachaeus, His only comment was that He wanted to sit at the table with him, because Jesus knew that would bring the biggest fulfillment.
Moving forward, there is a big question about what brings her fulfillment. Is it the event, or the effect of the event?
Have her scroll back to her favorite three or four events and see whether the sweet spot was something that happened there, or something that happened afterwards.
Did Fred and Joe meet at her table and later Joe gave Fred a job, or was there a discussion of something and it got resolved there at the table?
Some people live in the moment, some live in the future. See if you can figure that out.
Now, a comment for you. For a novice, working on a hard case, you are doing very well. And you are finding joy in navigating through the swamp.
I would like to highlight one facet of your design. There was a significant person in your life who used to fuss at you because of your energy level and accuse you have having ants in your pants because you wanted to go do stuff all the time.
That leader saw you as flawed because you could not do a calm, linear project for an extended period of time. And I agree. Putting you in charge of an orchestra patiently refining nuances of sound for the big performance twice a year — well, not really you.
On the other hand, in a really messy scenario where you have 50 tools in your tool kit and she has 150 variables that might intrude on any given session, you are thriving. Some of the people reading this thread have shuddered in horror over the insecurity and uncertainty of the situation. That is an expression of their design.
You, on the other hand, are thriving because of the complexity. You were made to solve problems with lots of variables.
I use the illustration of baseball vs. American football. In baseball, it is basically two people having a very controlled, slow paced duel. The pitcher and batter face each other and it is a game of nuances.
In football, you have 22 players on the field which results in thousands of possible permutations on any play.
Some people thrive in the intense focus and careful premeditation of baseball. On the other hand, people with ants in their pants can’t stand still in the batter’s box long enough for the pitcher to finish his pre-pitch head games and gyrations.
Likewise, the deeply focused people don’t do so well on a playing field with 22 moving objects, half of which would like to flatten him unceremoniously.
So enjoy the fact that you are finding a niche where you can thrive. Where you were before was too small for you. Here is a monumental mess that will take you a few years to sort out. It is well beyond your skill set, so you are growing into it.
My point is simply that you are thriving. You found one scrap of truth, and it lit your fires and you dug for more and more and more, and you know there is more to go back and dig out.
This is who you are.
Enjoy having permission from God and savor partnering with Him in a job that is big enough to challenge your significant intellectual acumen and your craving for complexity.
Go be dangerous, and enjoy it too!