Motivation for Integration


Most parts are less than enthusiastic about integration.  The two questions I hear over and over again are, “Will it hurt?” and “Will you stay?”

For a part that has been alone in a dark, cold place for a long time, loaded with fear and abandonment, the short time they have had in relationship with me while I have brought them to Original Self is some of the best time of their life.  So the idea of experiencing a change causes them to assume it means pain, plus they are loathe to lose the sliver of a relationship they have with me.

I explain that it will be a very gentle transition and that I come to see Original Self frequently, but am not there all the time.  That somewhat reassures them, but I have never had a part enthusiastic about a process they can’t envision.

On the other side of the coin, Original Self is usually less enthusiastic about it, but doesn’t have any particular reason to push back.  They simply lack the software to envision wholeness.

I understand these dynamics and work gently through the process, using the currency of my relationship with them to get them to agree to the unknown.  However, once in a while I get some free money.

There was an Original Self I was working with recently that had already gone through a handful of integrations.  By now it was a fairly low emotion event which she tolerated since it was important to me.  We had a protocol with a predictable cadence and it worked well.  There were a number of parts on standby for whenever we had time to work.

In the midst of this journey, Original Self was far too passive overall.  I sent the Teacher portion of her spirit to Original Self to try to do some fathering between sessions through discovering what it was that she liked.  In the midst of Teacher’s bevy of possibilities which were presented to Original Self, they discovered that Original Self could not smell.

There was certainly a nose there, but no capacity to distinguish this flower from that one.

This became a simple platform for me to explain integration in a different way to Original Self.  One of the parts out there carries HER capacity to smell.  Get that part back in place and her nose would work well.

I pointed out that she never missed the sense of smell because it had been gone so long and she had lived in a very small world for so long.  But in the midst of real life, her lack of a particular resource became evident.  In the same way, all of the parts that originally came from her carry some part of her functionality that will enrich her.

I admit that she has not missed most of what she is missing.  However everything that was taken from her, she needs.

It was a new view to her and has certainly changed the tone and flavor of the integrations.

Copyright November 2015 by Arthur Burk

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Comments

  1. jane62 says

    My experience is that being scared of discovering a DID part was significantly worse than finding and communicating with that part and then with the others. I’m not crazy and it is fixable. I have found huge freedom in that discovery. I have dignity. Overwhelming shame is no longer stalking me. I can now encourage anyone to take steps to find out exactly what the problem may be, whether DID or not. At a time I felt that to make that discovery would be more devastating than the fear of finding out. But it wasn’t. It was immensely freeing.

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  2. Sally2 CO says

    Thank you Arthur, your post is very timely for me. I have been reading, listening and watching your posts and videos for several months. Some parts integrated easily in mass with a lot of love and a cry that I am not whole without them and they are not whole outside of my original self.

    Some parts are still hanging out, waiting. These are the parts that were especially targeted during SRA and other abuse. They were convinced that their gifts were and always would be the source of ridicule, isolation, mental, spiritual and physical pain. I have been declaring and celebrating those same gifts today. Declaring that God does not make mistakes, that these are great presents not lumps of coal. I have been looking at God’s handiwork in the earth to find examples that reflect the gifts He has given me. I am calling back my birth rights. God created them for His glory, not to inflict pain. Thank you for giving me the key of dignity. Dignity, a word that brings tears to my eyes and hope to my parts and my original self.

    God, please bless Arthur with more and more insights!

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  3. Nico says

    Define parts please….Is this to do with a person torn apart via trauma and becoming D.I.D? Ex. a part of a person that feels young or scared whenever walking past a certain location? Or even a part that feels old and drained in a young person?

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    • says

      Nico, why don’t you do a little reading on the web on this. A “part” is an operative term. The more formal term is an alter for someone who is DID.

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      • Nico says

        Will do. This is one area I haven’t particularly delved in due to fear of what I would find. But I guess now is as good a time as any to face that fear. Thanks for the springboard

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  4. nita7932014 says

    These last coaching sessions have opened my eyes to see new paths for progress for my assignment, ie. my ‘sally’. They have given me such hope and encouragement.
    Thanks

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