4. Invisibility: Finding the Passion


Hi Arthur,

I wanted to provide an update on my progress.  I think the legitimacy and joy exercises are taking root and going pretty well (albeit rather slowly).  I feel like I am a stronger, more confident person than 2 months ago.   I am drawing firmer boundaries in my relationships, and interestingly, even family members who used to criticize me appear less willing to do so.  We still have our battle of wills, but it’s at least easier emotionally on my part.

That is a nice distinction.  Some battles go deep, others stay out of the most sensitive zone.

The good news is that these uncomfortable/confrontational situations have allowed me to practice being conscious of my inner self.  Through the Personhood lessons, I started noticing that my mental self shrank around older or dominant people.  I could almost feel my spirit folding into a tiny box.  Even my body language reflected how tiny I tried to make myself.  I knew this wasn’t healthy, so I started putting myself on alert before any encounters and purposefully expanding my inner self.  (It’s difficult to describe but I try to mentally push out that inner self with confident emotions and remind myself that I have legitimacy and value.)  I also correct my body language to reflect a more confident, strong posture.  It seems to be helping.

Well done.  A lot of small choices add up.

I am doing better on the permission front.  As the idea that God wants me to enjoy life (versus the thought that God ordained a life of hardship for me personally) sinks into my soul, I can feel myself embracing the joy that feels like an indulgence.  It’s giving me a greater sense of validity as a person and I can feel my spirit expanding.  I can also see that much of the way I viewed God was a reflection of the way I saw some other people in my childhood.  I am still trying to fully see what it would look like to know that God is always for me and not against me and that He wants to give me good things.  I’m trying to know what full abundance is in Him.  I am still working through emotionally separating God from man, but I think I’ll get there one day.

One interesting tidbit that I discovered hiding under the strong layer of permission is that my resistance also appears to stem from the disappointment and pain of letting joy go.  The bigger the joy, the bigger the pain I experience when it inevitably passes.  I hate it every time. I’m not sure why I resist it so much since logically, I know that I can recreate joy…but there’s something very deep, sad, and nostalgic about the end of a joyful experience that puts my brakes on whenever I want to start feeling joy.

So let me say it back to you.  There is an emotional push/pull.  You have two different emotional messages going on and conflicting.  There are a lot of possible sources of that, but I wonder if this one is an AHS.  Have you listened to the two albums on alien human spirits?  I think that would be a good next step if you haven’t.  

Another obstacle that is creeping up now that the adrenaline of immediate progress is wearing off is fatigue.  My body just feels like it’s wearing down because of my commute and work schedule.  Fighting the feeling of futility and purposelessness in my work is wearing me down emotionally.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude of faith that these things will pass.  But some days I am just so tired.  And it takes more effort to get those good feelings flowing.  I’m having some issues compartmentalizing my other joys so this underlying struggle with futility does not dampen my other experiences.  It has been very difficult though because it feels like the little joys don’t really matter if I don’t have purpose.  I know that’s not true, but waking up to the same situation can be so hard.  I almost feel like if I could just have purpose, everything else would be easier to enjoy.  Is there an exercise or technique that can help in this area?  Again, I know that true victory lies in finding joy in desperate situations, but I could really use guidance in this area.

I think you need to hold two truths in tension here.  First is the fact that lack of purpose and lack of fulfillment are BIG emotional drains in our lives.  And it is OK to acknowledge that.  So yes, small joys don’t compensate for the big pain.  If you have +5 about seven times during the day, but you are at -50 for the fulfillment that day, you net out in negative numbers.  So the small joys only blunt the edge of the lack of fulfillment.  They don’t change that reality.  

On the positive side, all of the practice you are doing now on the small things will add up in the future, so it is worth it to keep on reaching for the small joys when the big pain is not overwhelming.

I think my inner self likes multi-tasking while experiencing my joy, so that technique has been helpful.  It’s been allowing more, longer opportunities to experience the small joys of daily living without worrying that I should be doing something more “productive.”

This is a random bit of news, but I also felt a small prompting to speak against any mountains standing in the way of my job situation because it contradicts God’s will for me according to Jer. 29:11 and John 10:10.  This was new for me because I usually ignore small thoughts like this and I never really thought about speaking against situations because it was not God’s will for me.  (I think working through the Personhood series helped me to embrace this new perspective.)  A few days later, I received an email for a job interview.  It was my first interview in many years, and it was with the Agency that I had administrative obstacles with in the past.  I am not confident in my performance during the interview, but I am using the same technique of speaking God’s good will and purpose over my life and embracing it with faith for a good outcome.  I am choosing to trust that God is bigger than my shortcomings.

That is good news indeed.  Some of the invisibility is shifting.

So how to go forward?

Have you listened to our material on the redemptive gifts of individuals?  This would give us a template for your basic fulfillment zone.  From there, I could ask some additional questions and refine what you were made for.  If you are pretty sure of your gift, write SandyLandry872@gmail.com and see if she agrees.  She is our resident authority on the gifts, and it would be lovely to nail it down for sure.  If this is a new topic for you, then dig into the album.  Once we get the basic frame settled, I can help you refine it.

Fulfillment is a function of design.  I look at football and can’t comprehend the joy in it.  Why would I want to line up across from some bruiser and get thrown to the ground every 30 seconds or so?  I can’t quite find the fulfillment in it.  However, give me a riddle to solve – like you! – and it gets my juices flowing, whereas someone else would feel powerless and panicked in the face of the kind of riddles I deal with happily.

So let’s work on identifying your design, then we can extrapolate where fulfillment will be.  My experience is that visibility is highly related to passion.  When someone absolutely believes in what they are doing, it causes their spirit and soul to be unleashed, and they become much more visible, even when they are not saying anything.  Simple picture:  Sally Nobody is working at the back desk in a big, crowded office.  She is unseen, unloved, not hated, ignored.  Just a nameless, faceless paper-pusher.  

But let her fall in love and become engaged, and even though she says nothing about her romance, it will so turbocharge her spirit and soul, that people will begin to notice her. 

I think you have dealt with the basic negative stuff pretty well.  Now it is time to move into plus numbers and find you a cause that will fire up your passion. 

Copyright April 2016 by Arthur BurkFighting Futility

From home

 

Prophetic Words and Time


There are three kinds of prophetic words.

-True words that carry the life of God in them, waiting to be unpacked.

-Hot air that is nothing more than someone’s elastic imagination.

-Demonic deceptions that carry a wide assortment of viruses that will devour you.

While the third class is known to be toxic, the second class can become toxic when enough people come into agreement with it.  I see this a lot in what I call copycat prophecies.  One person in a community of faith prophecies (from their imagination) that X is going to happen to Person Y, and over the course of the next year a number of other people have supplementary prophecies (also from their imagination).

When you or people around you come into agreement with a prophecy that is non-reality, it gains some demonic power to define the course of your life, even though it did not originate with the same toxicity as the third category.

Imagine this picture now.  God builds your time line for you before the foundation of the world.  See it as a freeway.  When false prophetic words are spoken over you, they become off ramps from God’s time line.  In some cases, they take you to an existing road that leads you to a dangerous ghetto or a wasteland, and in other cases the off ramp suddenly ends at a solid wall and you have no way to go forward and it seems impossible to go back.  You are stuck, stopped, blocked, done.

In our work with the Seat of Dominion, we have found that it has 12 foundations, like the New Jerusalem does.  Following the pattern of the fractal of 12, the eighth slot is for time.  We have found it valuable to ask God to do a number of things to cleanse that spot and that foundation stone from the perils of false prophetic words.  Attached is a sample prayer for you to adapt to your own situation.

The Eighth Foundation Stone Trauma Bonds to Time SLG Coaching blog

Copyright April 2016 by Arthur Burk

From the Hub, with huge joy over being back in the Lab

7. Tracy: Brain Function Score Card


First an apology.  My schedule this spring has run away from me, so there has been a lot of communication from Tracy that has not made it into the blog yet.  We are here picking up a conversation that has been suffering from benign neglect.

In the last blog about Tracy’s pursuit of intimacy with God, I suggested she sort her pleasure points into categories.  Going back to the beginning of this project, my assumption was that we had to deal with spirit, soul and body.  Each had to own a part of Tracy not being able to feel the love of God the way she hears others experiencing.

I choose to start with the body, because we are talking about “feeling.”  She knows God loves her in many ways, but the objective is for her to experience God, not just know in a faith way that He loves her.  A person can experience God with their spirit, without any physical involvement, but more commonly, it involves our body.  Feeling is a neurological activity.  So my premise was that Tracy had developed many areas of her brain, but some of the wiring needed for feeling God was underdeveloped.

We looked at where she felt generic soul pleasure.  She made a list, then I asked her to sort the list into categories.

Here is her first run.

Taste and smell

#1        Apple pie

#3       Baked salmon

 

Outdoors

#2       Fishing

#15      Wide open spaces

#18      Camping

#23     Hiking

 

Community

#4       Hugs from kids

#19      Company of brothers

#20     Goofy friend

 

Staying warm

#6       Whirlpool – swimming

#7       Electric mattress cover

#28     Soft warm hoodie

 

Blessing others

#8       Socks for the homeless

#12      Baking for others

#24     Asking little girls if they are a princess

 

Pampering myself

#9       Pedicure

#21      Wearing a tiara

#26     Gold colored sandals

 

My creativity

#11      Ordering seeds to plant from catalogue

#22     Rock garden

#29     Re-decorated bathroom

#31      Deck storage seat

 

Country living

#13      Fresh cut hayfield

#14      New baby calves

#25     Collecting eggs

 

Quiet times

#16      Time with God in special chair

#17      Sitting on deck listening to the peaceful silence

 

Now the question is, “So what?”  How do we get from these functional soul dynamics to a spiritual/emotional/physical connection with God?

I would reorganize these into broader categories.

Try just three.

-Physical gratification

Here I would put the smell of apple pie, the warm hoodie and other things like that.  Clearly her neurological pathways work for experiencing normal pleasure from ordinary stuff in life using the five senses.  No deficits there.

-Emotional gratification

Here I would put planning, like ordering seeds; doing, like hiking and fishing; savoring, like the wide open spaces.  Her soul seems to be in very good shape.  She can enjoy things that come to her, like seeing a newly mowed field, or she can plan and pursue an activity that will make her feel good and experience the anticipated pleasure when it happens the way she planned.  Solid stuff.

-Relational gratification

Here you have receiving hugs from kids and giving the title of a princess to a little girl.  Again, a nice range of functional neurological pathways in both receiving and giving.  She may not have a community as diverse or as deeply gratifying as she would like, but her brain is capable of experiencing positive experiences in community, when those community experiences occur.

Now the question is, “So what?”  How do we get from these functional soul dynamics to a spiritual/emotional/physical connection with God?

Here is my point.  Suppose you want to have water in some area of your garden.  You need some pipes to get it there.  The pipes contribute nothing to the growth of a plant.  But you have to have boring, inert pipes in place, before you can possibly have water running in the pipes.  So, we have verified that there are pipes in the brain, and they can carry a signal.

She might be lacking community at the scale she would like, but when a little person runs to her and launches a monster hug at her, the neurology works and she “feels” pleasure from that experience.

To summarize:  she can experience pleasure from her body’s five physical senses.  She can experience the pleasure of giving herself pleasure in cognitive and physical ways.  And she can experience pleasure from community.  The brain is functional in the category of pleasure.

Frankly, I am surprised at this report.  I had expected to find some significant deprivation in the pleasure center of her brain, but that does not seem to be the case.

So the question on the table at this point is what is blocking her from experiencing the spirit, like she experiences the soul?

I will process that with her a bit, in private, then continue the experimentation here on the blog.

Copyright April 2016 by Arthur Burk  Joy SLG Coaching blog

From a bird-song graced spring morning in Austria