Suzie is on a journey which includes healing from D.I.D. She is well down the road, with her Original Self established in the present time and her spirit well involved in daily life.
She lives most of her life without work-arounds, and from time to time as new parts surface, she has a protocol to engage, cleanse and integrate them.
Along the way, she found a part who said her name was Writer. This part is in the present, staying with Original Self, but has opted not to integrate. Suzie is fine with that.
I have a brief coaching session with Writer once every month or six week, working on her writing skill. Her first stories were shallow. I taught her how to build more layers into the stories and how to enlarge the emotional range of the problem the story addresses. Then it was point of view, character development, tone, texture, principles, etc. Basic writing skill from my highly biased perspective.
And she wrote. Suzie’s busy lifestyle limited available time for Writer, but every month, she cranked out a new story and each one was remarkably better than the one before. Her volume was pretty low, but her growth in expertise from story to story was dramatic.
I became vaguely aware that I hadn’t heard from Writer for a while, but with all I have to do here, I didn’t really look in that direction. Eventually I got an email from her saying she was empty, could not write anything, and felt she needed to be integrated into Original Self so she could get back to writing.
I visited with her for a bit today. I have no objections to integration. In Suzie’s life there have been a small number of parts who opted out of integration for a while, and each one eventually decided they would rather have the larger playing field of Suzie’s life than the independence of being a part. So Writer’s request was highly typical of Suzie’s journey.
HOWEVER, it didn’t feel right to me, so I poked around.
My bottom line, which I explained to her, is that I had no issues with integration but I sure would feel better about her going in with sparkles rather than defeated. She concurred that this was pretty much a position of powerlessness. She had used all the tools for overcoming writer’s block I had given her a while back, and nothing worked.
I asked her permission to snoop for a bit, and she gave it.
Original Self assured me that all was clean and clear in her space. There had been no defilement or wet blanket.
We scanned the horizon checking out the usual sectors where Suzie occasionally has trouble and nothing clicked.
I went to the Teacher portion of her spirit and held up three trial balloons.
-“They” took something out of her.
-“They” put some covering over her.
-“They” put a partition inside her blocking her from access to her treasure.
Teacher voted for #2.
Instantly I saw a burqa. Suzie has no connections we know of with that culture, so I assumed this was an analogy. What I extracted from that was that a burqa is designed to hide a woman’s beauty. I wondered who wanted Writer’s beauty hidden.
Immediately I flashed to an old, old story from her school days of a teacher who reviled her and told her how dumb and hopeless she was in all things related to writing and speech. That was aggravating since I know Suzie had done a LOT of work on that incident over the years.
What could be still there that would allow this level of attack?
The Holy Spirit said, “Pandora’s Box.” Ah yes! The incident in Suzie’s life was designed to activate the old generational stuff. Made sense.
We were on a roll.
I asked the Spirit what He wanted to show me. Instantly I saw an almost cartoonish stereotypical picture of the tall, angular, spinster, school teacher with her hair in a tight bun, huge glasses riding down her nose and habitual anger in every line of her face. She was standing over a little girl in a blue dress in her primary school desk, raging at the little one who was just paralyzed with terror, unable to really imagine what she did to prompt such an emotional assault.
I did the usual, asking God to sit in judgment on all the assaults all the teachers have made against school kids in Suzie’s generations asking Him to cancel the power of words that were not true and right and just. I asked Him to strip away fear, shame, paralysis and confusion.
Next up were all the inner vows in the generations where kids rejected their writing, rejected their design, rejected the fire in their belly, rejected taking initiative, rejected the pursuit of excellence and opted for keeping a low profile, in a survival mode.
I asked for that cleansing to be brought forward to the present.
Paused and “felt.”
Teacher or Writer (I can’t remember whom) reported progress, but it felt to me like I was shoveling the snow off a driveway using a spoon. For all the huffing and puffing I just did, the three little piggies were still doing just fine.
Asked the Holy Spirit for my next cue card. Instantly saw a dagger in the back of her right knee. Ah, yes, the old standard picture of jealousy coming against her dominion.
I pondered where that might be from and saw a picture of an oral community having a monthly gathering. The village elders were primary, the rest of the community gathered around the circle, and the official historian was sharing a story while the rest listened with rapt attention.
Suddenly it all made sense. It isn’t about Writer. It is about the Story Telling office. The Story Teller wasn’t entertaining. He was sharing a historical vignette to pass on the history to an oral society, but more than that, he was telling THAT story because the elders needed a particular value reinforced in the community.
And Writer does not write for entertainment. She has an AX to grind and every one of her stories is pounding away at the same value.
So . . . over the generations, the office of Story Teller has been in her family line from time to time. They have shaped cultures through their skill and their choice of which values to endorse. And there has been jealousy from others in power over the fact that the Story Teller was more influential than those with political power.
It all fit.
I dealt with the jealousy issue. (If this is new to you, go to our Free Audio, select the Spiritual Warfare album, and you can hear the strategy for dealing with jealousy there). Brought the cleansing forward to Writer.
Paused to feel.
Ah! I have graduated from a spoon to a snow blower. The driveway is looking good.
Oh, wait! Not so fast.
The Holy Spirit pulled up the previous picture of the village gathering and this time the Story Teller was not just telling, but was being highly dramatic, playing several people in turn, on his imaginary stage. But what was new in the picture was Father watching from the back, smiling contentedly as the Story Teller was doing exactly what Father designed him to do – loving his job, doing it with skill, shaping the values of the culture.
I moved swiftly to ask God to explore the family lines all the way back, long before there were written words, and to identify every ancestor who was in the office of Story Teller and who acquitted themselves well.
Then I asked Him to gather up His immense joy over the function of that office and to marinate Writer in Father’s joy over the AX she is grinding and her passion to change her culture!
And this time when I paused to feel, it was a gentle summer morning on the driveway and the plants were vibrant with life.
Writer was in a pretty good place.
I bailed, leaving her basking in the moment. We shall see what bubbles up from her in the next month.
I am still quite open to an integration, and feel she can write bigger in Original Self than by herself, but that is up to her. At least if we do an integration soon, it will be from a position of being an incredibly valuable treasure, rather than a whipped puppy.
Copyright August, 2017 by Arthur Burk