The Emotion of Powerlessness


We are marinated in a sense of immense power when we are in the womb.  The baby can effortlessly strip mother of nutrients so he is born robust, at the expense of her health.  The baby can ignore clocks, schedules and cultural niceties, sucking his thumb with impunity.  He can hit mom without being spanked in return.

That world of immense power gets splintered with the birthing process where a child experiences a wide variety of powerlessness.  That powerlessness is reinforced through childhood, school, religion and the land-mine-loaded world of relationships.

Then comes adulthood and you face employment, interfacing with the government and that ultimate factory of powerlessness – marriage.

So by midlife, just about everyone except the most pampered primrose has a file in their brain of the emotion of powerlessness.  Few have “resolved” the past issues.  We just push through, breathe a sigh of relief when we have restored some sense of dominion, and we go on with life.

Meanwhile, there is one more episode of that debilitating emotion of powerlessness filed away in our emotional data base.

When we hit a new patch of powerlessness, someone races to the cage where all those little gremlins have been locked up for a while, throws open the door and they come tumbling out, bursting with energy and race around your brain reliving each past experience with powerlessness, thereby magnifying your current bad situation.

Brutal.

Dealing with powerlessness is a lot like dealing with a migraine.  Most people learn to recognize the early warning signals, and they pounce on it with meds.  If they don’t address the issue quickly, and just let it “run its course” it often reaches a point where they can no longer power through.  It is overwhelming.

So what DO you do to contain the emotions of the current powerlessness, and avoid letting all the gremlins out of the cage?

Here are some tools that work for me, since I don’t have a cage – I have a whole “nature reserve” just slightly smaller than Kruger National Park with more varied life forms of powerlessness than Darwin could imagine.

First, I try to identify an end point or a pause in the current drama.  If I am on the phone with a useless “Customer Support” person, I can realistically say that in five or ten minutes I will be off the phone and will deal with my problem a different way.  If I am in a long term relationship, I know that as soon as I send this email, I have a pause in the action.  I can avoid the problem until their next email back, and when it comes, I can reasonably ignore it until near the end of the day, before having to embrace the powerlessness again.

Second, I look for some way to engage different parts of my brain, other than the thoroughly inflamed powerlessness file.  My first choice is physical activity just because it is available right now.  I have a chin up bar and can quite swiftly generate enough physical pain that it overrides the emotional sector of my brain with sheer volume.

I can go into the warehouse and unpack the most recent order, then stock the shelves.  Or assemble a few CD albums.  Or wash the dishes in the sink.  I would prefer more intense physical activity, but it is not easily available at work, nor is it my strong suit.

But for some, going for a jog, or playing a rousing number on your air guitar will serve the purpose if you have strong positive emotions attached to that activity.

A second area of the brain that can be quickly stimulated is taste.  Hence, “comfort food.”  Fortunately my mango juice is highly comforting and non-fattening.  Often just the act of moving toward the refrigerator releases some anticipatory good feelings, before I actually chow down.

Sometimes I blend the two and chew my ice after the drink.  I am so very gratefully that there is not a 12 step program for all the ice chewers in the world because it certainly helps keep the gremlins in the reserve, at times.

The third part of the brain that is useful for diversionary techniques is your whole reading apparatus.  If there is an enjoyable book already underway – usually biography or history for me – a quick immersion into a chapter will pull me into a different place in my brain.

This is why hurting people get sucked into Facebook and web surfing – looking, looking, looking for SOMETHING that is interesting enough to pull them into a better part of their brain than where the negative emotions are.

Any of these areas can be addictive and damaging, but they can also be useful tools for damage control when life has mugged us and the gremlins are threatening to swarm.

Third, I check to see if I have emotional energy available to fight.  Anger and depression are closely related.  Both can come from the perception of being trapped.  Depression robs us of energy.  Anger gives us a brief high energy jolt.

If I can find my anger in the place of powerlessness, I will move toward some activity where I KNOW I can perform well, with power.  For example, I will scan my emails to see if someone asked me a question that is right absolutely in the center of my strike zone so I can blast a ball into the second deck in center field.

Some of you who have received a long email back from me answering some question in tremendous detail were actually just being used by me to get my emotional equilibrium back.  That happened today.  A lady asked a leadership question right after I had experienced a familiar powerless moment, so she got the long version of my answer – immediately – not the pungent two sentence kernel that she would have had to chew on for a while, and now I feel much better about life!

It doesn’t have to be sophisticated.  I am VERY efficient with housecleaning.  There is an ability to think out ahead and an economy of motion that is quite impressive.  The search-and-destroy mode for errant dust puppies is something to behold.

So at times I will blast through cleaning a room, primarily to re-establish dominion over something, and tamp down the pending revolt at the reserve.

Fourth, and dead last on my list, if I don’t have the emotional energy to fight back, I will talk to someone who I have reason to believe is on their game today.  I will hitchhike on their momentum.  They don’t have to know I am having a shabby day.  Many know intuitively, but we are not going to discuss my pain.  I want to hear what they are doing, what God is doing in and through them, where they are weaving principles together in a new way, where they are reaping fruit, etc.

After five minutes of drafting on their emotionally upbeat day, I can get back into my game with some degree of equanimity restored.

* * *

There are levels of powerlessness that this won’t work for.  When you are in a long, long rut, like being a battered wife or abused employee, these tools won’t do much.

When there is a serious demonic component such as with SRA, it will take more than this.

And when there has been so little dominion in life that a person simply does not have many neurological pathways for dominion, you will need to do some serious repair work there, first, over time.

But for the mythical Average Joe who has a stare down with powerlessness every week, some of these might help you bounce back more quickly.

Copyright August 2017 by Arthur Burk

 

 

 

Authenticity in Deliverance


When someone has a long history of woundedness, rejection is almost invariably in the mix.  And when you have felt the pain of rejection, you really try not to move toward it again!

This is the client’s dilemma in a counseling situation.  He or she needs help, and they know they have to receive it on the clinician’s terms or they will be rejected.

On the other side, is the clinician’s distaste for powerlessness.  It is not a welcome emotion.  Hence, they have worked hard and studied hard to develop a set of tools that will allow them to feel some sense of mastery, effectiveness and dominion when counseling.

These two aversions – rejection and powerlessness – set the stage for a dishonest relationship.

The counselor does A, B and C which has worked for 100 other people.  If he is remarkably dishonest, he announces to the client that the problem is now solved.

If he is professional, he asks the client how he feels about the situation.

And that is the choke point for the client.

He KNOWS that the counselor absolutely believes that the issue should be fixed after A, B and C.  He KNOWS the counselor really doesn’t know what else to do.  AND if the client says, “Well, I don’t think it is all done,” or “I don’t feel like anything has changed,” that is going to push the counselor’s buttons.

If the counselor is a big boy, he will be disappointed, but will lean into it some more, even though he doesn’t know what to do.  If the counselor is still carrying a bag full of unresolved issues, he will turn against the client and some level of overt or covert emotional rejection will take place.

So the client who wishes to continue the relationship reasons that it probably IS OK, since the big guy said so, or it will finish working itself out during the night, or it will get resolved eventually when they work on something else in that general area.

So the client allows the counselor’s perception that everything is taken care of, to stand unchallenged.

And thus is born another dishonest relationship between an unhealed healer, and a client who is not likely to get healed in the context of an inauthentic relationship.

Here is a better model.

I worked with Sally again yesterday.  God directed us to the 14th year.  Lots and lots of drama.  God came.  He showed us big stuff.  He did big stuff.  She was excited about the immensity of the intervention by God.  The work was so deep it went on for hours.  She texted me at her bedtime saying that it was still churning.

My emotional conclusion?  “We nailed it!  A done deal!  Go God!!!”

This morning, Sally let me know that something was wrong.  Things were better, but not right.

My reaction inside?

-You can’t be serious?  After all that move of God yesterday, it isn’t done and isn’t right?  REALLY?!

-I am BUSY.  I didn’t have time yesterday for that big deal, and I REALLY don’t have time today.

With my mouth I said, “Hmm.  That is a surprise.  I wonder what is lacking?  Let me listen a bit?”

I pondered the story line.  Ah, the parts!  There were six of them from that period.  They needed to be brought up to speed. I explained to them that 14 was new and refurbished and exciting and I wanted to show them.  They were terribly unimpressed with my excitement but they barely humored me and went.

They admitted that it was gorgeous, different, but said it made them feel super heavy.  They wanted to get out of there.

I was bummed.  Struck out again.  So we vacated that location, had a discussion and facilitated their going to a new place to work on detox.  They were pleased, but it would be a process.

Checked with Sally to see if this was it.  It HAD to be.  Yesterday’s land work was stupendously immense.  Must be just a minor matter of the parts getting cleaned up too.

I asked how she felt about it.  She said it was wonderful that they were getting cleaned up, but that was not it.  There was still something.

Double bummer!  I told her I was flat out of time, and would have to listen to God for my next cue card, since I had no idea what to do.

Honesty on her part.  Honesty on my part.

Later on in the morning, while I was scurrying around, doing “stuff,” a detail swam to the surface.  I remembered a bump in the road she had in childhood.  I pinged her.  She was available.  I asked if she was seven when that happened.

Yes.

Curse on time?  Seven and 14 were locked down so I asked about other multiples of seven.  21 was horrible.  28 ditto.  We worked it out.  A rock solid curse on time, every seven years – in addition to the one every 13 years she had dealt with a few years before.

I was elated. THISTIMEWEGOTIT!

Did the prayer, with a healthy dose of generational cleansing to boot, and she felt a lot of stuff moving.  Exciting. The payoff for honesty in the relationship, and tenacity in working on what is really there, not just what I wanted to be there.

I basked in the comfort of having gotten past powerlessness.  The Holy Spirit had come through, and given me my cue card when I was patient, and I am back in the game.  Yay God.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Stuff moved.  I asked her if it felt right.

She said better but not right.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!

I got that cue card from God!  How can it not be done yet?

Note:  I DID NOT SAY THAT out loud.  Just in my head.  I try to be authentic internally even when I am being polite to a friend.

I was about to plead busyness so I could get off the phone when the Holy Spirit flashed another cue card – her birth was messy!  Oh yes!  I remember that now.  (Love those cue cards.)

So, I mentioned that to her, showed how the physical violations fit into the bigger pattern, and then we asked God to extend the cleansing of the cycle of time to her year zero, and all the bad births in the generational line and THAT set off quite a firestorm of spiritual activity.

It was still going on when I got off the phone.

I will find out tomorrow whether year 14 is clean, done and sealed.  I SOOOO hope it is.

But whether it is, or it isn’t, I trust Sally to be honest and tell me how it really is, and I will be honest with how surprised or relieved I am, and we will go forward.

Authenticity in a ministry relationship is much more effective than dishonesty and fear, even though it is emotionally yanking in a dozen different ways.

Copyright August 2017 by Arthur Burk

 

 

The Awe Party


After the astounding visitations from God this week over the 16th and the 17th years of Sally’s life, she decided the parts needed to party.  The intent was to take the awe from God that had imprinted the land at the camp where they were gathered with “Samuel,” the male Original Self, and extend it to the untouched area on the south side of the river.

Plans were made by Sally and the parts during the week.  Sally cleaned house on Saturday.  The Mercy portion of her spirit planned a special dinner.  There were candles and fragrance and colors and clothes.

A couple of hours before the event, anxiety in the parts began to rise.  What if Jesus did not come to the party?

Sally pushed through.   She lit the candles and proceeded to celebrate the week with her meal.

Then attention turned inside.  There were a total of 25 parts ready and waiting.  And Jesus was not there. Anxiety was arm wrestling with despair for the lead role in her emotional palette when one of the parts screamed, “Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming!”

And indeed, He came.

He greeted each one of the parts individually with a caress or kiss and a word of personalized acknowledgement of their design.

Anxiety and despair were vaporized and the camp was redolent with dignity.

The dance troupe performed next.  As was appropriate for being on the south, male, side of the river, the dance was strong, intense and bold.

Jesus celebrated them when they were done.

Then He took the initiative and directed them to the 13 year mark of her river/time line.  Everyone followed Him down the south side of the river, where people rarely go.

This was hugely significant for Sally since she has known for a long time that she has a cycle of time, running every 13 years.  She has scrubbed those years with immense vigor multiple times, so she was very interested in seeing what would happen next.

Upon arrival, Jesus instructed the parts to scatter and each find a stone to build a monument.  As they regathered with their stones, they were instructed to bless the year with a specific blessing as they added their stone to the monument.

Then Jesus surprised her saying He was going to establish a fragrance portal for revelation there.  He said it was not part of her original time line, but He was going to establish it there for her now as His gift to her for going forward with confidence.

Then He summoned an angel.  It was massive and came with thunder and lightning wrapped around it.  It stood with its back to the river and moved its wings intensely and intentionally, gathering up water from the river and sprinkling drops on each of the parts.  Each of the drops of water was loaded with light and color.  This went on for quite a while as the parts received something through that process.

At the time, Sally felt it was perhaps equivalent to a baptism for the parts.

Then the angel exited and Jesus explained that at 13, the dark side had taken something out of her that was vital and had placed something evil in her to set the stage for damage done at age 14.

This was fascinating.  We knew 14 was a turning point year for evil which is why we had asked God to cleanse time there on the first day.  He did nothing and went to 16 instead.  Now we understand that He needed to dismantle this junk at the 13th year before He could do what needed to be done at the 14th.

Time seemed to stop for a bit and Sally felt some deep work inside her while Jesus removed and replaced the essential resources that had been tampered with.

Eventually that settled and then the parts formed up to march.  Jesus had earlier sent four drums to them, so they had two drummers in front and two behind as they marched away from the monument to the south, toward the portals for Death and Sheol.  This was the original idea behind the event – to take the awe from the 16th year group and use it to sanctify the land south of the river and east of the camp.

And NOW the whole group had a stunningly larger deposit of awe after receiving the baptism from the angel and watching Jesus restore the essential resources in Sally.

They marched with vigor while Jesus went with them, until there was a sense that it was far enough for this venture.

They returned to the camp and sat together savoring.

There were more things planned, but Samuel had the wisdom to know that if they did them, it would simply be programs not power, and that they had achieved the objective and needed to stand down now.

Jesus drew out of the parts that facet of the day that landed deeply for each one.  And He shared some of His thoughts over the process.

Then He left.

Sally is no stranger to integrations.  Some are low impact, some extremely intense.  But as she looks forward, it is difficult to imagine what the impact will be on the two Original Selves to have parts added to them that are so loaded with awe and wisdom.  The implications to Sally are stupendous.

AND there is the wonderment about going forward.  When will He integrate them?  Will He engage with year 14 now, or go on to 18?  What will be the flavor of those years?

She is acutely aware of entering into the third phase of her Christian life.

In the first phase there was awe over Jesus being willing to forgive her for her past.

In the second phase, there was and is awe over God being willing to give her a future that is bright in spite of her past.

But nothing in her wildest imaginations could prepare her for the concept that God would go back in time to restore and repair her time line.

The years 16 and 17 still have flavor and texture and substance to her.  Time after time, day after day, she goes back and savors those two years and the dynamic implications of awe and wisdom being woven together as a continuum.

She wonders what the other years might be like.

But pulsing in and through all the other thoughts that are colliding with each other like a pinball machine on Red Bull, is the point of highest awe:  JESUS CAME!

It was not always this way.

Copyright August 2017 by Arthur Burk

Alters and Land


I talked with “Sally” today about the way God healed her 16th year.  She was still in awe of the experience.  The year had been awful when she first lived it, and she had no idea that it was even possible to redeem such a mess.

The awe that was felt yesterday had grown overnight as the immensity of the experience settled more and more deeply in her.

In addition, the nine 16 year old parts in the safe place were all 100% cleansed, restored and ebullient about their place in life and about their God.  Quite an abrupt change from the hopeless, passive aggressive stance of the previous day.

I pondered the fact that the nine were not integrated and wondered if God left them there to sanctify the land with awe.  I proposed to the male Original Self who is in charge of that area, that he consider leveraging the awe.  I suggested he use his discernment to check the land and see how far out the awe in the land radiates, then plan an awe party once a week on the edge of the existing pool of awe, to expand it, week after week.

He and his team are over the top excited about the vision and their plans for a robust party of parts on Saturday are well underway.

After the survey of yesterday’s masterpiece, we turned our eyes to the rest of the teen years.  Before I could even ask God anything, the Holy Spirit interjected that it would not be anything like the 16 year old patch.

Fine with me.  We are, after all, SLG!

Our pursuit is of new flavors of the poly-variegated wisdom of God.  So I prepared to be very nimble and to follow the leading of the Lord.

I asked where He wanted to go, and He said, “17 years old.”

I spoke to the parts in that sector, introduced myself and said that God needed to do some work there, and therefore I needed to help relocate them.  I designated a staging area by the river and asked them to come.

One responded, said there were five.  It took a bit of negotiation, but eventually all came to the staging area.  The Holy Spirit said there were four more who were in caves and had not seen light or had fresh air for a long time.  New dynamic to me, but hey!  New colors of His wisdom, right?

I asked the Holy Spirit to open the caves, then negotiated with the parts.  One was particularly recalcitrant, preferring to die than try to change.  I appealed to her to give me one day.  Just come out, go to where the others are, sit silently on the periphery and watch for one day, then make her choice.  She was quite unwilling, but yielded in action, while obviously making a lot of inner vows about not believing a thing she would see.

I asked the male Original Self to come gather up the nine from the staging area and take them to his safe place.

Then, with huge expectancy, I asked the Trinity what they wanted to do with this time frame.

I heard over the phone as Sally gasped in surprise.  It took a while for her to be able to articulate what was happening, but God was cleansing the land, not time, and did it in a way so thorough, He even changed out a lot of the vegetation, so there would not be trees that had absorbed the toxicity of the land.

It was a process.  We waited and Sally occasionally commented on it.

The theme was abundant life, not awe.

When He was done, I asked Him one step at a time, to release that life to her spirit, soul, body, birthright and offices.  Then we asked Him to weave the two years of superbly healed time together, as they should be.

Sally was more than overwhelmed by the intensity of the redemption of that time.  She had no idea it could be so.

Later in the day, the OS brought some of the 17 year olds back to that patch so they could see the magnitude of the transformation that had taken place from the hand of God.  They had felt His work in them, when we released the LIFE of God into the soul, including those parts, but nothing could have prepared them for the visual impact of the transformation.

There was no sense of needing to talk about integration today, but the party on Saturday just doubled in size and increased in flavor as the LIFE of God was added to AWE of God.

There is a mixture of anticipation and reticence in going forward.  Eighteen was one ugly year.  The soul cringes at dealing with some very hostile parts in that sector.  The spirit is sure this will become a new revelation of the poly-variegated wisdom of God.

Copyright August 2017 by Arthur Burk

Speeding Up Integration


Our passion is to see the entire journey of healing SRA/DID reduced to a five minute process, like physical healing from cancer or regenerative miracles is usually done in less than five minutes.  Quite obviously, we have a few thousand things yet to learn, but we are making progress.

Here is some good news.

“Sally” is a survivor who has been on her journey for over a decade.  She has done a lot of work on her time line, using the imagery of the river of time/life that we discuss in the “Tools for Freedom” series.  We thought things were in pretty good shape there.

However, recently some stuff wobbled in the teenage section of her time line, so she decided to take another pass through that area.  She asked God to show her what the time line looked like at age 14 (a known unstable time in her life) and absolutely nothing came up on the screen.

So she took a step back and asked what He did want to show her since He obviously didn’t like her idea!  Immediately the 16th year came into focus.  That was interesting since she had a cluster of 15 parts who had come out of that zone recently and were in the safe place, detoxing.

The visual of the time line was ambiguous, so we decided to go with a very ambiguous prayer!  I simply asked whichever portion of the Trinity wished to, to act upon that section of the time line.

She saw nothing through the process, but felt a huge amount of activity.  I sat silently for ten or fifteen minutes while the sixteenth year of time was being cleansed, repaired and refurbished by Father.  (Note:  those are three separate activities.  For her, the refurbishing, putting back in things that had been lost, was enormous).

When the action stopped, she had a sense of amazement over how appealing the 16th year felt to her. Previously that was a year defined by broken dreams and was seen as the place where she stopped living and began to simply exist.

She still could not describe what had happened during those 15 minutes since there was no visual, but there was immense change and this year was inviting, exciting, alive and sparkly.  Quite a shift.

I asked Jesus Christ if there was anything He wanted to do, now that the Father’s work was done, and there was silence.

I asked very cautiously whether the vitality of the 16th year be extended to the 15 parts – all 16 years old – who were in the safe place.  Again, a strong sense of movement, although nothing was visible.

When there was quiet once again, I had a sense to move toward integration.

Normally I am hugely interactive with integration.  I want the parts to want it.  Some are ready immediately as soon as the topic is broached.  Some want to stay apart and watch for a few weeks.  Regardless, I never try to talk a part into integration.  Waiting is my default.

So this urgency to move toward integration without any discussion or any permission from the parts is UTTERLY counter-intuitive to me, but the presence of God was so strong I went with it.

I called for the male and the female Original Selves to come to the gathering, and asked Father and Jesus what they wanted to do.  Instantly three parts were integrated into each one.

I paused and asked if there was any more, and there was silence.

So I reached out for the first time in this process and asked the nine who were left if anyone wanted to talk.

One of the remaining 16 year olds immediately asked, “WHAT just happened?”

I talked lightly about the cleansing of time.  She was simply in awe that she could feel so clean.  She had no frame of reference for this kind of clean existing, much less that it could be hers.  I sat and helped her savor the awe for a while, then detached from the group.

Three lessons to be learned from this process.

-CLEANSING, REPAIRING AND REFURBISHING TIME is a powerful tool for speeding up the process.  We talk about this at length in “Tools for Freedom” and in “Accessing Intimacy with God.”  Even though we “knew” those truths years ago, they are becoming more and more validated these days.  Spending 15 minutes in silence while God systematically rebuilt an entire year of her life, resulted in His dealing with the toxicity of 15 parts all at once!

I could get used to this.  A great compression of the process.

-GROUP INTEGRATIONS ARE POSSIBLE!  Historically, everyone’s Original Self has had limited capacity for integration, so we do one at a time, or two in a day, then have to wait a couple of days for assimilation to take place before the next integration.

Clearly God can suspend the Laws of Nature that govern capacity in Original Self and effortlessly integrate more, without violence.  When the time is right, it will be no difficulty for Him to integrate all the parts in a person in five minutes!

-AWE is a healing tool.  I have never noticed it before, but awe is not an emotion that I have seen parts evidence.  I enjoy seeing them find peace, comfort, joy and community.  But now we have nine parts who were deliberately not integrated by God, because He wanted them to marinate in awe for a while.

I have no idea how that will change the environment of Sally’s inner world to have such a significant deposit of awe in the safe zone, or what it will be like to integrate parts that bring with them a one dimensional perspective of God – awe.

We will be watching Sally’s inner world closely to see what transpires.  It makes sense on so many levels because SRA is designed to counter anything that even vaguely resembles awe!  So for God to unilaterally re-introduce awe into the culture and environment of a survivor on a journey is an utterly fascinating development.

We are not at the five minute mark yet, but we took a few weeks off the process today with the work on one year of time impacting a whole group of parts.  Needless to say, she will be looking at the other turbulent years very soon.

We keep marching!

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”  Romans 5:5 NIV

Copyright August 2017 by Arthur Burk

 

 

 

 

 

A Strange Writer’s Block


Suzie is on a journey which includes healing from D.I.D.  She is well down the road, with her Original Self established in the present time and her spirit well involved in daily life.

She lives most of her life without work-arounds, and from time to time as new parts surface, she has a protocol to engage, cleanse and integrate them.

Along the way, she found a part who said her name was Writer.  This part is in the present, staying with Original Self, but has opted not to integrate.  Suzie is fine with that.

I have a brief coaching session with Writer once every month or six week, working on her writing skill.  Her first stories were shallow.  I taught her how to build more layers into the stories and how to enlarge the emotional range of the problem the story addresses.  Then it was point of view, character development, tone, texture, principles, etc.  Basic writing skill from my highly biased perspective.

And she wrote.  Suzie’s busy lifestyle limited available time for Writer, but every month, she cranked out a new story and each one was remarkably better than the one before.  Her volume was pretty low, but her growth in expertise from story to story was dramatic.

I became vaguely aware that I hadn’t heard from Writer for a while, but with all I have to do here, I didn’t really look in that direction.  Eventually I got an email from her saying she was empty, could not write anything, and felt she needed to be integrated into Original Self so she could get back to writing.

I visited with her for a bit today.  I have no objections to integration.  In Suzie’s life there have been a small number of parts who opted out of integration for a while, and each one eventually decided they would rather have the larger playing field of Suzie’s life than the independence of being a part.  So Writer’s request was highly typical of Suzie’s journey.

HOWEVER, it didn’t feel right to me, so I poked around.

My bottom line, which I explained to her, is that I had no issues with integration but I sure would feel better about her going in with sparkles rather than defeated.  She concurred that this was pretty much a position of powerlessness.  She had used all the tools for overcoming writer’s block I had given her a while back, and nothing worked.

I asked her permission to snoop for a bit, and she gave it.

Original Self assured me that all was clean and clear in her space.  There had been no defilement or wet blanket.

We scanned the horizon checking out the usual sectors where Suzie occasionally has trouble and nothing clicked.

I went to the Teacher portion of her spirit and held up three trial balloons.

-“They” took something out of her.

-“They” put some covering over her.

-“They” put a partition inside her blocking her from access to her treasure.

Teacher voted for #2.

Instantly I saw a burqa.  Suzie has no connections we know of with that culture, so I assumed this was an analogy.  What I extracted from that was that a burqa is designed to hide a woman’s beauty.  I wondered who wanted Writer’s beauty hidden.

Immediately I flashed to an old, old story from her school days of a teacher who reviled her and told her how dumb and hopeless she was in all things related to writing and speech.  That was aggravating since I know Suzie had done a LOT of work on that incident over the years.

What could be still there that would allow this level of attack?

The Holy Spirit said, “Pandora’s Box.”  Ah yes!  The incident in Suzie’s life was designed to activate the old generational stuff.  Made sense.

We were on a roll.

I asked the Spirit what He wanted to show me.  Instantly I saw an almost cartoonish stereotypical picture of the tall, angular, spinster, school teacher with her hair in a tight bun, huge glasses riding down her nose and habitual anger in every line of her face.  She was standing over a little girl in a blue dress in her primary school desk, raging at the little one who was just paralyzed with terror, unable to really imagine what she did to prompt such an emotional assault.

I did the usual, asking God to sit in judgment on all the assaults all the teachers have made against school kids in Suzie’s generations asking Him to cancel the power of words that were not true and right and just.  I asked Him to strip away fear, shame, paralysis and confusion.

Next up were all the inner vows in the generations where kids rejected their writing, rejected their design, rejected the fire in their belly, rejected taking initiative, rejected the pursuit of excellence and opted for keeping a low profile, in a survival mode.

I asked for that cleansing to be brought forward to the present.

Paused and “felt.”

Teacher or Writer (I can’t remember whom) reported progress, but it felt to me like I was shoveling the snow off a driveway using a spoon.  For all the huffing and puffing I just did, the three little piggies were still doing just fine.

Asked the Holy Spirit for my next cue card.  Instantly saw a dagger in the back of her right knee.  Ah, yes, the old standard picture of jealousy coming against her dominion.

I pondered where that might be from and saw a picture of an oral community having a monthly gathering.  The village elders were primary, the rest of the community gathered around the circle, and the official historian was sharing a story while the rest listened with rapt attention.

Suddenly it all made sense.  It isn’t about Writer.  It is about the Story Telling office.  The Story Teller wasn’t entertaining.  He was sharing a historical vignette to pass on the history to an oral society, but more than that, he was telling THAT story because the elders needed a particular value reinforced in the community.

And Writer does not write for entertainment.  She has an AX to grind and every one of her stories is pounding away at the same value.

So . . . over the generations, the office of Story Teller has been in her family line from time to time.  They have shaped cultures through their skill and their choice of which values to endorse.  And there has been jealousy from others in power over the fact that the Story Teller was more influential than those with political power.

It all fit.

I dealt with the jealousy issue.  (If this is new to you, go to our Free Audio, select the Spiritual Warfare album, and you can hear the strategy for dealing with jealousy there).  Brought the cleansing forward to Writer.

Paused to feel.

Ah!  I have graduated from a spoon to a snow blower. The driveway is looking good.

Oh, wait!  Not so fast.

The Holy Spirit pulled up the previous picture of the village gathering and this time the Story Teller was not just telling, but was being highly dramatic, playing several people in turn, on his imaginary stage.  But what was new in the picture was Father watching from the back, smiling contentedly as the Story Teller was doing exactly what Father designed him to do – loving his job, doing it with skill, shaping the values of the culture.

I moved swiftly to ask God to explore the family lines all the way back, long before there were written words, and to identify every ancestor who was in the office of Story Teller and who acquitted themselves well.

Then I asked Him to gather up His immense joy over the function of that office and to marinate Writer in Father’s joy over the AX she is grinding and her passion to change her culture!

And this time when I paused to feel, it was a gentle summer morning on the driveway and the plants were vibrant with life.

Writer was in a pretty good place.

I bailed, leaving her basking in the moment.  We shall see what bubbles up from her in the next month.

I am still quite open to an integration, and feel she can write bigger in Original Self than by herself, but that is up to her.  At least if we do an integration soon, it will be from a position of being an incredibly valuable treasure, rather than a whipped puppy.

Copyright August, 2017 by Arthur Burk